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+--- Thread: Dark humor from Ol' Red Skelton (/showthread.php?tid=105)
Dark humor from Ol' Red Skelton - crazyon - 02-24-2021
RED SKELTON'S RECIPE FOR THE PERFECT MARRIAGE
1. Two times a week we go to a nice restaurant, have a Little beverage, good food and companionship She goes on Tuesdays; I go on Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. ….. Hers is in California, and mine is in Texas.
3. I take my wife everywhere.... But she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said………. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. ……….If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric Toaster and electric bread maker.She said, "There are too many gadgets and no place to sit down!" ……….So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife told me the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked where the car was……….. She told me, "in the lake."
8. She got a mud pack, and looked great for two days……….. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember: Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. I married Miss Right……….. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
12. I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months ………. I don't like to interrupt her.
13. The last fight was my fault though. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" ……… I said, "Dust!"
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UH OH!!! ~~~~~ LOL ~~~
RE: Dark humor from Ol' Red Skelton - Ohan - 05-18-2021
Red Skelton ~ there was a good, good man ```